


for every you is a me (and i for you)

by potstickermaster



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Lena and Kara meet alternate versions of themselves, Post Reveal, and Alex just stands awkwardly to the side
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 15:15:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21860221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potstickermaster/pseuds/potstickermaster
Summary: When Kara arrives at the DEO with the unconscious woman that had her face in her arms, Alex almost has the agents in the vicinity shoot them both down. Kara gets it, really; between Bizarro and Lex’s Red Daughter, they really had enough of these Supergirl clones. It always spells trouble for them.These days, Kara just wants a break: from being Supergirl, from everything, but the symbol on her chest is responsibility she can’t bear abandoning. Not only for the people who has placed their hopes on her, but also for what—who—she lost.After all, if she lets Supergirl go, what did she lose Lena Luthor for?
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 37
Kudos: 1048





	for every you is a me (and i for you)

**Author's Note:**

> hi. first of all, i want to extend my thanks to those who helped me last week. i’m out of that mess thanks to you and i hope the gods bless y’all!
> 
> second, this is a commissioned fic by @runyonsun. thank you again friend!!!
> 
> prompt: _I'm just looking for something in the multiverse that pushes our version of Lena and Kara together. Whether that means our Lena and Kara visiting an Earth where their Lena/Kara are together, or maybe another version of Kara hitting on our Lena, etc. Anything along those lines with a happy ending would be great._
> 
> spoilers until 4x20... to 4x22 i guess... lena finds out kara is supergirl on their visit to kasnia, when instead of kara, lena finds linda’s room and all the proof that kara is supergirl. let me know what you think!

When a figure in all black comes crashing onto Lena Luthor’s L-Corp balcony and creating a trail of crushed concrete into her office, Lena’s first reaction is to reach for the ion ray she has developed and kept under her desk. She quickly aims it at the intruder.

Her next reaction is panic, when she realizes it’s a body. It’s a _person_ that’s landed in her office, and not in a way that seemed like they meant to actually _land_ in her office. More like they were thrown, rather violently, into the direction of Lena’s balcony. 

Keeping her weapon raised, Lena stands from her seat, her senses on high alert. She’s half-expecting another person to land on her balcony, a particular blonde in blue and red, but no one arrives. However, cold dread shoots down Lena’s spine when she realizes that the unmoving, crumpled figure on her office floor is a blonde.

_Oh no._

Her panic flickers into worry and _fear_ when she catches a glance of the figure’s face, partly hidden by blonde hair, and realizes it’s Supergirl. Lena drops her weapon and runs to the heroine’s side, not caring that she kneels on rubble as she shakes the Kryptonian awake.

“Supergirl,” she says. She pushes the woman to her back; there are bruises on her jaw, blood on her nose, but that’s all Lena could see given the black suit the heroine is wearing, the crest emblazoned on the black material of the suit but still branded proudly on her chest.

“Supergirl,” Lena tries again, more insistently this time. Lena feels for Supergirl’s pulse. Faint. Her breathing is barely there, too. Worry escalates as a bitter taste at the back of her throat and her eyes sting but she tries, one more time. 

_“Kara.”_

Nothing. 

“Kara,” Lena whispers, more urgently this time. When there’s no response save for a soft, almost lifeless whimper, Lena barely chokes out a cry for help. 

Because of _fucking_ course, this is what she gets for holding on to her pride. Because of course, the universe has to tell her she no longer has time to hold on to her fury, because Supergirl doesn’t have much of it, not when she has enemies, a city to save, a world to protect. And sure, Lena knew in her heart of hearts that she would forgive Kara Danvers one day—one day, _one day—_ but that didn’t mean she couldn’t take her time being angry, right? She was manipulated and lied to, and Kara Danvers and all her friends became just like the Luthors, and Lena only had her anger and her pride.

Her anger and her pride feel so little now, compared to the resounding loss that grips her body and tears through her very being. Her hands are trembling, feeling for Kara’s wrists for any sign of life. She needs to call Alex. She needs to call for any sort of help. No one is outside her office because it’s a Saturday—and of course she is working on a Saturday—but she can’t seem to find strength in her to move, or even speak to tell Siri to call Director Danvers, or god, to even pull away from where she feels Kara’s fleeting warmth.

There’s a thud. Lena thinks she hears a thud, anyway. She doesn’t know. She hopes it’s help. She turns her attention to the source of it, half of her brain trying to croak out a plea for help, the other half trying remember where she dropped her gun just in case she needs to protect Kara—that’s their thing, however unspoken—and _fuck,_ she can’t see anything because she realizes there are tears in her eyes. 

“Lena,” a voice says. The tears come faster now because _god, that’s Kara’s voice._ She can’t breathe.

“Lena,” the voice repeats. Then there are warm, strong hands on Lena’s biceps, pulling Lena’s attention from Kara’s unmoving body on her office floor towards whoever had arrived, and—

“Breathe,” the voice says, and when Lena sucks in a lungful of air and succeeds in blinking away her tears, she focuses on the person in front of her. 

Blonde. Familiar. _Alive._

Kara, in her Supergirl suit of red and blue, kneeling in front of her, looking worried. 

“Kara.” Lena pulls away like she’s burnt and glances to the unconscious _Kara_ on her office floor and her worry turns into hellish fury that her voice cracks with a sob when she speaks. “You- This is _low,_ even for you—”

“I’m not—” Kara— _Supergirl_ —takes a shaky breath, and Lena isn’t sure, what with the tears in her eyes, but she backs off. “This isn’t- I had nothing to do with this, Lena, I—” 

“Stay away from me,” Lena hisses. She feels the gentle stabbing of concrete on her knees as she scrambles to inch away. 

“Lena, you have to believe me,” Kara says. Lena remembers the same shakiness in her breathing when she had confronted her. The shame in her eyes. The guilt of someone being caught. 

She is reminded of the fleeting warmth, too, of the woman who has Kara’s face, as a pained groan escapes her once more, and Lena turns to the unconscious blonde again. She sniffles and wipes her tears with the back of her hands. 

“Who is this?” Lena demands. 

“I promise I don’t know, Lena, I- I heard you calling for help, so I came here—” _Supergirl_ sounds helpless now, and if Lena were the villain Supergirl and her allies had thought she was, she would have reveled at the fact. Lena just aches. “I know you don’t trust me, not after- but I promise I’ll never resort to this just so you’ll forgive m—”

“We need to help her,” Lena interrupts. She doesn’t know where the firmness in her voice comes from. Her chest feels hollow with the remnants of betrayal, the fleeting moments of _loss_ , and god, she wants to stay angry, but she suddenly feels so exhausted what with this mysterious woman and then seeing Kara— _Supergirl—_ again. _Alive._

Lena does what she does best: putting her feelings in little boxes and shoving them deep, deep down so she can focus on her more logical thoughts. It happens in a second, so used to it, and it leaves her cold and calm but with the emptiness she feels, it doesn’t really feel like anything. “You need to bring her to the DEO. She could be a possible threat. Either way, she needs help.”

If the sudden shift in Lena’s emotions startles Supergirl, it doesn’t show. The blonde only nods, despite the knot in her eyebrows. She sighs and speaks into her ear piece. 

“Alex,” she says, and Lena hates the reminder that Supergirl’s secret has been under her nose all this time. “I’m coming back. I have- just—” The heroine glances helplessly at Lena, then at the crumpled heap of a woman on the floor. “It’s better for you to see, but have the med bay ready.” 

Lena doesn’t hear the reply, but Supergirl oves and carefully lifts the woman into her arms. Before she could take off, Lena is reaching out a hand, but she stops herself and clenches it into a fist on her side. 

“I’m coming to the DEO, too,” Lena says, her eyes still glassy with tears. She must look like a mess, but Supergirl—Kara, _Supergirl,_ it doesn’t matter, they’re all the same—has seen her like this before. Wrecked. She hopes she doesn’t look as lost as she feels. “Just- Take her there.” 

Supergirl wordlessly nods, though Lena doesn’t miss the worry in her eyes. A heartbeat, and then Supergirl is gone, leaving Lena to deal with the mess in her office and her mind.

;

When Kara arrives at the DEO with the unconscious woman that had _her face_ in her arms, Alex almost has the agents in the vicinity shoot them both down. Kara gets it, really; between Bizarro and Lex’s Red Daughter, they really had enough of these Supergirl clones. It always spells trouble for them. 

These days, Kara just wants a _break:_ from being Supergirl, from everything, but the symbol on her chest is responsibility she can’t bear abandoning. Not only for the people who has placed their hopes on her, but also for what—who—she lost. 

After all, if she lets Supergirl go, what did she lose Lena Luthor for? 

“She’s unarmed and unconscious,” Kara says. She doesn’t land until the agents stand down. Alex mumbles an apology before telling Kara to lay the unconscious _clone_ on a gurney, then they quickly rush her to the med bay. 

“Are we sure she’s a Kryptonian?” Alex asks, checking the stranger’s vitals. Kara shakes her head as she uses her x-ray vision on the woman. No broken bones. Considering the crushed marble of Lena’s floor, Kara is at least certain the woman isn’t _human._

“I don’t know,” Kara says anyway, because she doesn’t. All she knows is that she was at the DEO one minute, and the next she is hearing Lena’s heartbeat rising in _fear_ and she’s crying out for help and _Kara_ ; then, Kara is flying to her without another thought, without another breath. “I found her in Lena’s office. Looks like she crashed. Lena’s on her way. You can ask her when she arrives.”

Alex meets her gaze then. Kara doesn’t flinch. There’s worry in Alex’s eyes, sure, but Kara is an adult. She can handle seeing Lena again, never mind the fact that they haven’t seen each other in _weeks,_ since Kasnia. Weeks since Lena had helped them defeat Lex and merge Linda Lee back with Kara.

It’s unsettling to see Lena, sure, in such a sudden way, like waking from a nightmare. If Lena’s distress was any indication, the raven-haired woman was upset, too, but Kara’s half-certain it was because of the unconscious woman who came crashing into her office, rather than seeing Kara herself. 

She wants to _know._ She wants to fly back to L-Corp so she could check up on Lena, ask how she is, _talk to her;_ Kara can hear Lena’s heartbeat, still where she had left her, and the sound of a phone call to someone who would come over to fix her office floor, the barest hint of _tears_ in her voice that Kara could only recognize because she knows Lena. 

Kara doesn’t know if that is still a truth she could safely say. They haven’t talked since Lena had found out about Kara’s secret identity, weeks ago, and even then, it wasn’t much of talking. It was Kara begging for forgiveness and the feeling of something like kryptonite, cutting into her flesh and bone, as she listened to Lena so softly cry and _beg_ for an explanation like any louder would break her. 

“I would’ve understood, Kara,” Lena said, tiredly, like she had given up. “I still don’t regret my decision of choosing Supergirl over Jack, or my own family. I understand that your secret identity is something you have a right to keep.” 

And Kara had hoped of forgiveness then, a surge of lightness in her chest before it drowned.

“I just hope you never befriended me, because you never _had_ to,” Lena said with a humorless laugh and a defeated shrug of her shoulders that severed the last vestiges of hope Kara held on to. “You had the choice not to. But you made a fool of me by letting me think you were my friend, someone I could open my heart to, when from the beginning you knew you were going to lie to me. I trusted you with all I am and you _broke_ me _.”_

Kara wanted to explain, wanted to tell Lena that she never intended to—never intended to actually befriend her, never intended to keep the secret for so long, never intended to hurt her—but she couldn’t.

Lena had softly told her to _leave, please._

That night had been the longest, far worse than the torture of being unable to control her hearing when she first arrived on Earth: she had listened to Lena quietly cry like she knew Kara could hear. She listened to glass breaking and wine splashing, all the while unable to go to the person who needed her most. 

The person Kara needed most. 

Weeks later, Kara would still think about everything: about their first meeting, about the tentative footsteps they had taken into their friendship, about the days that had passed and the rift that continues to grow between them. Each passing day, the pull that called Kara to take that first step towards Lena in that restaurant grows stronger, calling her to take the leap and try reaching out again.

Alex told her to let Lena take her time. J’onn told her as much, and Nia offered a sympathetic smile and a squeeze of a shoulder when she had asked if Kara is okay. 

She hasn’t been okay. Not in weeks. 

“We’re stabilizing her heartbeat,” Alex announces, breaking through Kara’s thoughts. Kara pulls herself together and watches Alex set up the sun lamps as another DEO doctor checks and measures the mysterious blonde’s vitals. She tries to take a blood sample and promptly fails, the needle bending back. 

“Well,” Alex says, blinking at the unconscious _not-Kara_ on the bed. “Definitely alien.” 

;

“Where is she?” Lena says as a greeting when she finds Director Danvers and Supergirl at the DEO command center, looking at the scans and diagnostics of the mysterious Kara-look alike they had probably gotten in the almost-hour it had taken Lena to get there. Alex and Supergirl turn to her, unsurprised. Lena was half-expecting resistance, or at least, a guard or two to stop her entrance to the DEO. 

It’s Director Danvers who steps forward. “Med bay,” she says simply, gesturing to the direction of it before leading the way. “She’s… Already stabilized. Any later she had been brought here would have made things worse.” 

The walk to the med bay is quiet save for the noise of the DEO and their footsteps, which sound so much louder in Lena’s head. It’s déjà vu. She has been here before, just like this—coming to DEO’s aid to help a poisoned, barely breathing Supergirl.

_People underestimate me but I care. I really do._

Lena hates that it still holds true. She hates thinking of a dying _Kara Danvers_ on that bed, seemingly forever ago, poison in her veins, hates it that every memory she held of Supergirl in any hint of danger is now a memory of _Kara Danvers_ in facing the very same threats. 

That every memory of Supergirl saving her is a memory of _Kara_ saving her.

“What did you find out about her?” Lena asks as they step into the med bay, her pride dearly clutching on to her righteous fury.

Alex could only shrug. “She’s fine, she’s healing. We aren’t completely sure, but it’s safe to assume she’s Kryptonian considering her cells are healing at a faster rate while she bakes under these sun lamps.” She gestures to the bright lights they had used before with Sam, then at the screens that showed the strange woman’s vitals.

Lena doesn’t say anything. She studies the sleeping woman’s face—Kara’s face, but _not Kara_ —and no longer finds the blood and bruises. A feeling of relief washes over her, a brief gust of comfort, but it’s short-lived.

“How did you find her?” Supergirl asks. 

“I didn’t,” Lena says, and she barely meets the heroine’s gaze. Instead, she focuses on the woman on the bed. It’s odd. She’s every inch Kara Danvers. Blonde locks. Fair skin. Lena wonders if she would find the scar her left eyebrow, if she looked just a little bit closer. “You could say she found me. I was working and she came crashing into my office.” 

Lena keeps to herself the part where she thought it was _her_ Kara Danvers, where she thought Kara had been _dying,_ but Supergirl’s silent nod makes her think she already knows. Lena doesn’t like the idea of it. 

“Alright,” Alex says after a long minute of silence. “Look, there’s no Harun-el signature or any report of some evil Supergirl lurking, no nothing.” The Director puts her hands on her hips and shrugs. “Given the fact that she looks like Supergirl and we have no other ideas why, our best next step is to wait for her to wake up.”

“Okay,” is all Lena says. Kara looks surprised at that response, grows even more so as Lena sits down on one of the chairs across the bed and brings out her phone. Lena only raises an eyebrow at her, then at Alex. “Am I allowed to wait or should I leave before I get dragged out of here?”

It’s bitter, she knows. She lets herself have it. 

Alex gapes for a second, looks at Supergirl, then shakes her head at Lena. “No, no, make yourself comfortable, um. We have no idea when she’ll wake up.”

Lena nods and opens her phone to return to the document she had been reading earlier before she was interrupted by the hurtling mass of _not-Kara._ She listens to the fading footsteps of the Danvers sisters before letting herself look at the woman on the bed again. 

In the silence of the med bay, Lena lets out a heavy sigh. “Who are you?” 

;

“Have you guys talked?” 

Alex asks it carefully, like she knows it would spook Kara. For her part, Kara only frowns and picks apart the croissant in her hands. 

“No. It’s my first time seeing her since—” The younger Danvers shrugs and stares at the bits and pieces of pastry on the box in front of her. “You should’ve seen how furious she was, when she thought that was my doing.” She drops the flaked croissant back on the box and sighs. She hasn’t felt hungry for a while, the blackhole in her stomach now feeling like an altogether different kind of void. “I don’t think she’ll ever forgive me, Alex. I feel so _helpless.”_

“Give her time,” Alex says, almost a reflex now that her sister actually winces when she hears her own words. “Just- I think for now, we should focus on your lookalike number three here.” Alex tries a smile and playfully bumps Kara’s shoulder. “Honestly. How many versions of you are we going to get? When are we going to ever get a version of me?” 

Kara snorts at that, a hint of a smile on her lips that has Alex beaming. “I got version of you who didn’t know me and locked me up,” Kara retorts. “I think I have enough of other versions of you.” 

Alex sticks out her tongue. “You suck.”

A beep through the hallway—a rise in _that_ heartbeat—pulls Kara’s attention. “I think she’s waking up,” she tells Alex.

They are just walking into the med bay when the woman who has Kara’s face blinks open her eyes, and in a voice that is exactly like Kara’s though made rough with unuse, speaks. 

“Lena.” 

;

The beep had startled Lena, making her almost drop her phone. It’s the strange woman’s voice, so like Kara’s, that has her heartbeat racing. She puts her phone down and stands, carefully stepping closer to the bed, green eyes studying the woman who looks at her so intently that Lena keeps her guard up.

“Hey,” Lena says, a bit uncertain, because she isn’t exactly sure what to tell the woman. 

The blonde— _not-Kara_ —suddenly pushes herself off the bed, fading bruises, barely-there consciousness and all, and pulls Lena into a hug that feels like she hasn’t seen the woman in a thousand lifetimes. It knocks the air out of Lena’s lungs, and she thinks she imagines the way _not-Kara_ heaves a quiet sob. Over her strong shoulder, Lena sees the other blonde, still in her suit and skirt— _Supergirl_ —standing stiffly, as if bracing herself for an attack at the first sign of trouble.

“So,” Lena begins, and not-Kara in her arms freezes like that one word stings. “You know me.”

Not-Kara sighs, then chuckles—the sound is hollow at best but Lena doesn’t say anything. She pulls back, and there’s a sudden air of confidence about her somewhat as she shrugs and turns around as if to check the vicinity of the room. 

“But not the only one of this face here, I see,” not-Kara says, and Lena determines that this air of sudden certainty about her is a mask. Lena knows as much. Still, not-Kara smirks as she looks at Supergirl. “Rao. It really does look like a cheerleader skirt, huh.”

Supergirl frowns and crosses her arms, stands much taller somehow, like she’s competing with another version of herself. It’s Alex who puts a hand on the heroine’s shoulder, silently telling—ordering? Lena doesn’t know—her to stand down.

“And who are you?” The Director asks. 

“Supergirl,” _not-Kara_ says, tapping the crest on her chest. The symbol of hope, of the House of El. Lex’s diaries told as much. 

Lena sighs. “No, you’re—”

“No, I _am_ Supergirl. Or…” She trails off, meets _Supergirl’s_ gaze, and Lena rolls her eyes tiredly. 

“I know she’s Kara Danvers,” Lena snaps. She doesn’t miss the way Supergirl swallows, or the way the other-Supergirl bites back a smile.

“Yes. So. I _am_ Kara Danvers,” not-Kara insists. “Just… Not of this Earth.” She gives the three women a tight smile. “Please tell me you’ve met the Legends here?”

Supergirl tilts her head. “You know them. Sara Lance?”

Some sort of hope flickers in not-Kara’s blue eyes, and Lena is hit with how impossible it is that she now has not one, but _two_ Kara Danvers in front of her right now. 

The righteous fury she feels dampens for a moment. 

“Thank Rao,” _not-Kara_ says with a grateful sigh. “The last ones haven’t. Okay!” The strange blonde claps once and beams, so much like the sun that Lena looks away. “So you’re aware of the multiverse. That makes things easier to explain.”

“The multiverse isn’t a new theory,” Lena interrupts, glancing at Director Danvers for a moment then at not-Kara. Never at Supergirl. She can’t. She _can’t._

Not-Kara turns to her with a piqued eyebrow, as if waiting for her to continue. 

Lena crosses her arms. “You’re telling us you’re not some evil clone but rather a Kara Danvers from an alternate Earth who probably arrived here by some… sort of a portal?” Lena suggests, the idea overtaking her now. She waves a hand. “It sounds like a more plausible theory than you arriving here on some ship, considering you came crashing into my office and the DEO hasn’t flagged any extra-terrestrial aircrafts or any of the sort.” 

Kara from the alternate Earth, if she is telling the truth, looks at Lena—really looks at her, like she’s holding all the answers in the universe, and Lena is _bothered_ by the sheer intensity of it. Not because she feels uncomfortable, but because this Kara looks at her like she’s home and hope all the same, so unlike the way _her_ Kara looks at her, with guilt and shame and none of the brightness she used to hold in her blue eyes. 

“I miss you, you know,” not-Kara says, so softly that Lena almost misses it. The softness in her eyes is gone as soon as it came as the blonde chuckles and shrugs. “I mean. My Lena. I—” A sigh. “I’ve been crossing universes, looking for her.”

_What?_

“Why?” Supergirl says—it sounds like a demand, the way it falls from her lips.

 _“Why?_ What do—oh.” Not-Kara looks at Lena, then at Kara, then at Alex. Director Danvers, for her part, just faintly shakes her head, then the strange blonde slowly nods and chuckles. “Well. Because that’s what friends do. I mean.” She turns to Lena. “Wouldn’t you do the same for Kara?” 

Lena blinks at that. “I...”

There is a second of silence as Lena looks down at her feet. Before she could answer, not-Kara speaks again. 

“You hesitated. Golly. It’s like—” Not-Kara stops herself, purses her lips, then lets out a breath. Lena doesn’t want to think about what was on her mind. “Um. Anyway. Let’s get into more important things, I guess.” 

“And what’s that?” Supergirl asks.

Not-Kara heaves a sigh. “I need your help to get home.” 

Lena raises an eyebrow at that. “And we’ll do that, because?”

“Because,” the strange blonde says, gesturing to Supergirl and Director Danvers, “they want me out of here as soon as possible, before I pose a threat.” 

Lena barely glances at the Danvers sisters. “If they don’t help you, I will.”

; 

Not-Kara— _I get that calling me Kara is confusing but can I just get a codename like Flamebird or—fine, fine, just call me Claire—_ tells them of her story. Kara feels uneasy with her around, and it’s not just because this stranger has her face, or because Lena had so easily to offer her help. It’s Lena’s nature to be compassionate, and Kara isn’t really surprised that she offered, but it doesn’t mean she has to like it. 

_Claire_ is a stranger, despite the similar face. She is a stranger with Kara’s face which Lena would rather look at, instead of Kara herself. Lena gravitates to her and tends to her and speaks to her in some sort of language only they understand. Kara gets the science too. It’s just that Lena never knew her like _that_. 

Which, Kara knows, is her own fault at the end of the day, but still. 

“I was at L-Corp,” Claire starts. “I was helping Lena—” She pauses and looks pointedly at Lena, “ _my_ Lena,” she continues, and Kara has to stop herself from crushing the concrete under her feet or breaking her own arms with how tightly she has them crossed. “She’s refining the transmatter portal she had been working on. Long story short, we had a few unwelcome visitors for her bimonthly assassination attempts, which unfortunately had me hurtling through the portal she was working on.” 

Claire chuckles lightly and scratches the back of her neck. 

“Bimonthly?” Kara incredulously asks, just as Lena speaks. 

“And transported you to my office?” Lena asks. She is standing across Kara, seemingly so far away, but right beside the blonde from another Earth.

Claire, of course, ignores Kara’s question. It makes her scoff. 

“No, actually,” Claire says with a smile and a twinkle in her eye as she turns fully to Lena. She is standing too close for Kara to be comfortable, but Lena doesn’t seem to mind. “I had first been to an Earth where you were blonde.”

Lena blinks. “Blonde?” 

Claire bites her lip and nods. “Mhm.” 

Kara hates the other blonde’s reactions, but if she was honest, she had to physically stop herself from biting her lip at the mental image of it. _Shut up._

“Interesting,” Lena hums. 

“I’ve also been to an Earth where you two,” Claire says, pointing to Kara with one hand and Lena with the other, “were thirteen-year-olds and roommates. Who got along really well.” 

At that, Kara turns to Lena, hope and a sliver of excitement bubbling in her throat because Rao, that’s great, isn’t it? Not that she fully believes Claire’s story just yet, but if she _did,_ there is a Kara and a Lena out there, young and full of potential, getting along in ways the two of them are not on this Earth. 

Lena doesn’t even glance at her. “And they helped you build a portal to get you to the next Earth?” she asks instead, bringing them back to the subject at hand. 

“Yes,” Claire answers. “Which brought me to an Earth where Lena was some engineer in a post-apocalyptic world—your suit there was pretty cool, by the way,” she says, looking at Kara. “They were helping me out, too, but some sort of tectonic shift occurred and the Kara there had to throw me into the portal. Hence my landing.” 

“Wasn’t the smoothest of landings, I’ll say,” Lena mutters. 

Claire chuckles and shrugs. “What, no angel falling from heaven joke?”

“You cost me a couple of grand for repairing my office floor,” Lena replies, but Kara sees a hint of a smile on the corner of her lips—she _knows,_ because that well-hidden smile in the guise of a smart quip had been directed to her many times before.

“Surely just change to your billions,” Claire easily returns. Her smile grows a bit wider and Kara wants to throw her, portal or not. It’s like Alex and Kara weren’t there at all.

Lena chuckles softly and shakes her head. “I don’t know exactly what that Lena was building back on your Earth but if you keep landing to where that Earth’s Lena is—”

“Then it must have you as the lighthouse?” Claire suggests. She grins. “I mean. Not you, but- the Lenas of infinite Earths, in general.” 

“Right.” Lena hums in thought and Kara hears her muttering under her breath about synthesizing polyelectronic anions and syncing of energy signatures. “So you need a transmatter portal to get you to…”

“Where my Lena is, yes.” Claire sighs. “Hopefully we don’t end up looking for each other across the universe but knowing that lovely idiot, she’s looking for me.”

“Don’t call Lena an idiot,” Kara snaps. She isn’t pleased that it has been her only contribution to the conversation. 

Claire rolls her eyes at her. “I said _my_ Lena.” 

Lena shakes her head, ignoring the two blondes’ exchange. “And you shouldn’t just wait until she gets here because?”

Claire shrugs. “Because I promised her I’ll always be there for her.” She grins. “And because all these energy signatures left in other worlds will lead her right to me. I mean. Hopefully. In this Earth or the next. You get it.”

There’s a moment of silence when Lena seems to think it over, and a part of Kara wants her to say no—because she’s selfish, because she doesn’t want this woman who has her face have the friendship and _ease_ she used to have with Lena—but she knows Lena would help her anyway. 

“I think I can help you,” Lena finally says. 

“I _know_ you can help me, silly,” Claire assures. Lena laughs—a sound Kara hasn’t heard in a long time and it’s like being underwater, hearing it directed to someone with her face. Like watching an alternate reality of herself and Lena. 

The raven-haired woman steps back and says something to Claire that Kara’s super hearing misses, and then they are… leaving.

“Lena,” Kara calls out, and she stammers for a second. “Do you, um, need our help?” 

Lena turns around, just a second, and Kara thinks she imagines the way her heart races. The CEO looks at Kara, then at Alex, then shakes her head. “I have all I need at my lab. You know where to find us if you need anything.” 

They make their way to the elevators and Kara stares at the space where they— _Lena_ —had gone. 

“You know,” Alex says, pulling Kara’s attention like the Kryptonian could finally hear again. “You were two seconds away from laser blasting Claire and let me tell you it’s _weird_ to see you jealous of- well, yourself.”

Kara scoffs. Ice dances in her huff of breath. “I’m not jealous.”

“Uh-huh,” Alex murmurs beside her.

“And she’s not me,” Kara adds, frowning. 

“Yeah. Not-Kara,” Alex says. A beat. “I can have them monitored—”

“No,” Kara quickly says, turning to Alex with fire in her eyes. “Just- Let Lena do her thing. She can help Claire.”

Kara takes a long, slow breath, one that freezes the air around her. “No reason to treat them both like villains,” she whispers, more to herself.

;

Claire isn’t _too_ chatty. She paces their conversation, like she is trying to get a feel of what the Lena here is, and it reminds Lena of the first few weeks of her friendship with Kara.

It’s weird. It’s a scabbing wound that itches and Lena lets it be, despite it screaming for her attention. She focuses on her task at hand—it has always been easier to focus on work—and lets Claire help around the lab. 

When the talk of what to do dissolves into action, silence falls on them. It doesn’t last too long. 

“So,” Claire starts, after a while, and Lena could almost taste the question in her mind. “You and the Kara here. Not friends?”

Lena shrugs, eyes still on her screen where she’s running her simulations. “It’s complicated.”

“Uncomplicate it,” Claire shoots back. “I have a guess. You found out Supergirl from someone else.” 

Lena doesn’t answer, this time. Claire takes a deep breath then lets it go as a long sigh. Lena flicks her gaze at her for a moment, then returns her attention to her screen. Questions pepper the edges of her consciousness.

The first question manifests in a soft tone; Lena isn’t even sure she asks it until Claire clicks her tongue. 

“Does your Lena know?”

Claire takes a few seconds to answer, and she says it with a wistful smile that Lena sees in the corner of her eyes. “On our Earth, my Lena shot her brother to protect me and my friends, and in his dying breath he told her of my secret.”

Lena’s fingers pause from flying across the keyboard on her screen. “Sounds like an asshole thing Lex would do.”

“Tell me about it,” Claire mutters. 

Lena stops the next question before it falls from her lips. She instead runs a simulation, tinkers with the prototype on her desk, and hands a couple of wires to Claire. All the while, she could feel the blonde’s eyes on hers. 

“It’s been a long, long road to where we are now, but Lena’s forgiven me,” Claire finally says. Lena hides the shock at the response from her unspoken question, but she just knows Claire could hear her heartbeat. The blonde fiddles with the wires. “And Lena, knowing you and her are essentially the same—”

“We’re not,” Lena snaps, throwing the blonde a cold glare despite the warmth she feels on her neck, the bitterness on the back of her throat. 

Claire looks at her, far too fondly for someone who is supposed to be a stranger. She smiles. “Okay.”

; 

Claire returns to the DEO later that night, after several hours of doing Rao-knows-what at L-Corp with Lena. She doesn’t ask for details, not sure she wants to know. She had stayed at the DEO, just in case Claire did return, and had been expecting the woman to come back with Lena, but the blonde from another Earth said she sent Lena home to rest. 

“She wants to finish it soon, but I did tell her I don’t mind staying a day or two more,” Claire says. “You don’t, do you?” 

Kara doesn’t say anything. 

“You can’t leave the DEO, for security reasons,” Alex chimes in. “You can get some rest at the med bay. Kara can help you get some clothes to change into.”

Kara glares at Alex at that. Claire laughs.

“You don’t have to pretend to be nice to me,” Claire says as Kara leads the way to the locker rooms where they keep spare DEO uniforms. “To be honest, I’d be jealous, too, if I were in your shoes.”

“I’m not jealous,” Kara huffs. Why does everyone keep thinking she is?

Claire hums, sounding like she wants to say something more, but she thankfully doesn’t. Kara leads her to the direction of the locker room. Unfortunately, Claire opens her mouth again.

“I know you guys are in some…” The other blonde waves her hands. “Rocky road of sorts.” 

_That_ drives Kara to seething silence. She and Lena aren’t in a _rocky road of sorts._ They were in the ruins of whatever friendship they used to have, and Kara knows it had been her own doing, and every time she thinks of it, she remembers Alex and J’onn telling her to be patient. She remembers Lena practically telling her they should’ve never been friends. It isn’t a rocky road of sorts. 

When Claire and Kara reach the locker room, she wordlessly hands Claire a pair of sweatshirt and jogging pants from the racks. It takes a second for Claire to change, far too quickly for Kara’s taste. 

“She hates me,” is all Kara says.

She guides a quiet Claire to the med bay, too, but only because she has a question that eats at her until they arrive. 

“Does your Lena know?” Kara asks. 

Claire smiles, like she already expected the question. “Yeah. She found out from someone else.” 

Something lurches in Kara’s chest at that, and the sting of tears hurt more than she last remembers. Claire puts a hand on Kara’s shoulder, and it’s looking at a mirror. “We’re okay, my Lena and I.” 

“How?” Kara asks. Her voice cracks, and this isn’t how the Girl of Steel is supposed to be, but she hasn’t been herself for weeks now. 

“Time. Patience.” Claire squeezes her shoulders. “It hadn’t been easy, but then again, we’ve always believed that these things… we fight for them, don’t we?”

;

“You work too hard,” Claire says as a greeting when she arrives, quiet as the night. Lena is startled at her words, but she doesn’t say anything; there are other things between Claire’s words, like she knows why Lena is drowning herself with these tasks. It’s barely six in the morning and it hasn’t been four hours since she left for her penthouse, but she returned earlier than she had planned because she needed to do _something._ Lena tries to avoid her gaze but Claire follows her line of sight until their eyes meet. 

Lena sighs. “I just want to do something right.”

“You’re already helping me.” Claire grins lopsidedly. “That’s already a right thing on my book.”

Lena sighs again and picks up her tablet. She stares at it, unseeing. She thinks of getting Claire home to her Lena. A Lena who has forgiven her Kara, despite discovering the ugliest of truths—from Lex, of all people. It makes Lena think of the walls she’s built, her fury and pride keeping her from letting Kara and her friends waltz right back into her life. 

“I don’t hate Kara, you know,” Lena says after a long stretch of silence. “I’m just… angry. And vengeful. I don’t…” She trails off and sighs, attempts to return her train of thought to her work. 

“I know,” Claire replies, her voice just as soft. “And you have every right to be. I’m sure she told you as much.” 

Lena shrugs. “As long as I seem to need, apparently.” 

Claire smiles softly—it’s whiskey on an open wound and Lena looks away. It’s difficult to focus on the problem at hand she is trying to solve when her mind is so far away, but she tries. She manages to simulate a few lines of code when Claire speaks again.

“You know. When I told you your Earth wasn’t the first one I’ve landed to, I wasn’t fully telling the truth,” Claire begins, and Lena rolls her eyes before she could stop herself. Claire laughs. “Before you say that all Karas are the same liar... I _did_ arrive at an Earth which had us as roommates and thirteen-year-olds, but after that, before everything else, I also arrived at an Earth that existed in a universe where Krypton never exploded.”

Lena looks up from her screen at that. “That’s…” She furrows her eyebrows in search for the word. “That’s great, isn’t it?”

There is longing in the way Claire smiles that it stings, somehow. “Yeah.” The blonde stares at her hands. “It means there’s a Kara out there who hasn’t lost everything. A Kara who still has her planet, her race, her entire culture, and that’s great. You know how I found out?” 

Claire meets Lena’s gaze again, but this time, her blue eyes had the same shadow of sadness in Kara’s eyes—one of the reasons Lena couldn’t bear to look at her. Lena braves the hollowness it digs out of her chest. 

“I looked in the eyes of the one I loved most,” Claire whispers, “and all she said was _who are you exactly?_ ” A soft, humorless chuckle. “I thought that I, of all people, would’ve been strong enough to handle that but no. It hurt. A lot. In that alternate universe is a Kara that has never known you, Lena. Any of you here. Still, I’m sure that Kara’s happy in Krypton, I really am, but not knowing you is the greatest regret she will never have.”

Claire sniffles, like she is fighting back tears. She laughs lightly. The sound echoes in the quietness of the lab, the emptiness in Lena’s chest. 

“There’s that saying that you’d rather have love and lost it than not have it at all, right?” Claire says. 

Lena shakes her head at Claire’s words. “I’d rather not have it,” she mutters bitterly. Loss is damaging. Lena has lost a lot, and in hindsight, she would really rather not have _anything_ she would end up losing down the line.

What for? For lessons her future self could use? Because what doesn’t kill her make her stronger? Bullshit. What hasn’t killed her sometimes makes her wish she was dead.

“Sure, sure, but Lena.” Claire waits until Lena meets her gaze, then she is smiling that charming smile that makes Lena remember a specific brunch at CatCo, way back when. “The choice is yours, if you still want to have it.” 

_If you still want to have her_ hangs in the air, unspoken yet so loud. 

“Are you guilting me into forgiving an alternate version of you?” Lena accuses, narrowing her eyes at the blonde. “You don’t know me, _Claire.”_

The blonde laughs. “No. Not you. But.” Claire smiles fondly, like she’s remembering a dream. “You’ve long forgiven her, Lena. If you really haven’t, you wouldn’t care so much.”

Lena glares at Claire at that. She shakes her head and drags her gaze back to her screen, forcing herself to focus even when her entire being screams for— _no._ “Shut up and let me work. If this runs smoothly you might just get home tonight so I can finally get rid of you.”

When Claire laughs, Lena remembers Disney movie nights, just her and Kara, remembers potstickers and appetizers and long half-drunk conversations about stars and dreams for the world. In her heart of hearts, where the truth beaten blue by her pride lies, she knows Claire is right. 

;

The next day, Claire calls to say they can test the portal. She uses Lena’s phone that Kara almost has a heart attack, and the heroine tries not to punch the alternate version of herself for making her _hope_. Kara and Alex join Claire and Lena at the L-Corp labs, where a ceiling-high portal powered by a series of generators is set-up. 

It takes Lena a few frustrating attempts, but the portal finally works, humming into life with brightness that makes Kara think of stars. A few seconds in and there is a voice that sounds like _Lena_ coming from the portal, calling out for Kara, before it fizzles out. 

The portal suddenly shuts down, making the lights in the lab flicker. Lena curses under her breath as she works to turn it back on, but Kara could hear the way her heart raced. 

“She found me,” Claire says, her voice tearful despite the unabashed joy on her face. She beams at Lena. Kara wonders if that is how she looks with happiness. 

“If your Lena is anything like me, she no doubt would,” Lena says from where she is troubleshooting the damned portal, and Kara wants to cry because _this is her Lena._

They try and try again to get the portal running, and after several attempts, the portal finally stays open—at least, enough for a woman, in a deep blue waistcoat and dress shirt rolled up to her elbows, hair in a messy ponytail and jawline that could cut, to walk through. 

Lena looks at Lena-from-another-Earth with a little bit of surprise, but Kara only looks on with wonder. There’s fierce determination in the other Lena’s eyes that melts into pure and utter _relief_ when she finds Claire— _her Kara_ —and they run into each other’s arms. 

“I’d tell you off on not staying put but when did you actually ever done what’s good for you,” other-Lena whispers in Claire’s ear as she buries her face against her neck. 

“Only when it involves you, really.” Claire takes a deep breath like she’s taking in all her Lena is. Like homecoming. “I missed you so much.”

Kara wonders how much strength is strong enough to convey just how much Claire missed her Lena, without hurting her. Kara wonders how it would feel, to hold her Lena just like _that._

“As you should,” the other Lena laughs. “I missed you too.” 

A crackle takes Kara’s attention, even as Claire and her Lena keep holding each other like nothing else mattered. The portal hums faintly before it makes a fizzling sound. 

Kara’s Lena calls out for them. “Sorry to break up your happy reunion but this portal isn’t going to last long,” she says. 

The pair reluctantly part. Not-Lena laughs and takes Claire’s hand, then turns to Lena. “Hey. Thanks. Knew you could bring this idiot back to me.” 

Lena smirks at that. “Who else would?” 

Claire rolls her eyes. “I’m right here.”

A loud hissing sound echoes through the lab. “Get out of here, you two,” Kara tells them. The pair looks at each other before calling out their thanks and leaping into the portal; Kara watches them disappear but catches the words Not-Lena says before they are gone. It keeps her rooted where she stands.

The portal dies down with a loud humming before falling into complete silence. It drains the power in the lab, forcing the emergency lights on. A few seconds pass before the power comes back. Kara blinks at the space where the portal had been, not entirely sure what to make of what just happened. 

She should leave.

“The language that Lena spoke,” Lena says, stepping closer to Kara. The blonde is surprised at her sudden proximity. “That wasn’t Elvish. What was it?” 

Kara opens her mouth, closes it, then offers Lena a small smile. “Kryptonese.”

There’s a funny feeling that hits Kara at that—feathers on her belly. Kryptonese is practically dead, but Kara now holds the memory of someone else speaking the language of her people. 

Lena makes a soft sound. “So you teach me Kryptonese on another Earth?” 

Kara chuckles lightly and glances where the alternate versions of themselves had gone. It feels like a dream, and waking is drowning. “Or you studied it yourself. Seems like the kind of thing you’d do, considering you knew that Lena wasn’t speaking Elvish.”

“You’re not wrong,” Lena laughs. It makes Kara whip her attention to Lena, and the raven-haired woman seems to _blush_ at it. Hope blooms in Kara’s chest like sunrise and she bites her tongue. 

“What did she say?” Lena asks. 

Kara gapes for a few moments at that, surprised Lena is even talking to her. Had she gone to the portal and arrived at another Earth? “Are you sure you want to know?” 

Lena shrugs. “Did she speak of destroying the infinite Earths?” 

“No.” Kara takes a deep breath and looks away, towards the metal structure of the portal where the pair had gone. Bare bones of a different reality. “Marry me when we get home, beloved.” 

Kara can’t help but hear the way Lena’s heartbeat spikes and races at that. The blonde doesn’t say anything, doesn’t move, doesn’t think she even breathes. 

“Oh.” Lena clears her throat. A second, five. An eternity passes. “Right. Well. Now that’s over…” 

The sun dips over the horizon too soon and Kara swallows the cotton and bile in her throat. “We’ll be on our way.” 

Lena nods at that. Kara turns to Alex, who seemed to be far too pleased about leaving.

“Kara,” Lena calls out, and Kara wants to weep at the softness of Lena’s voice. The raven-haired looks small as she meets Kara’s gaze, and it’s been too long, weeks that felt like a thousand lifetimes. _“Ehrosh :bem, zygai.”_

It’s sunlight rushing through Kara’s veins, blazing through every inch of her. Hope. Forgiveness.

 _“Ehrosh :bem, :zrhueiao,”_ Kara says, before she could stop herself, but the confused, hopeful smile on Lena’s lips makes it worth it. 

;

They don’t see each other again for a full week. Lena keeps thinking back to a week ago, after Claire—other Kara—had returned with her Lena. That... _moment,_ with Supergirl—with _Kara,_ with _her_ Kara—had seemingly been out of nowhere and very much like a fluke, but that had been the strike to the crack on the wall of pride and anger Lena had held on to. She keeps thinking, too, that perhaps it’s far too late now; the basic Kryptonese she had found long, long ago from Lex’s journals only detailed of greetings and goodbyes and other words he deemed important, and she still doesn’t know what Kara’s words meant. 

Maybe they meant goodbye, for good. 

She has work to distract her from thinking about it, despite it being a Saturday, of course. Just a week ago she had been thrown into a few seconds of grief thinking that Kara had _gone,_ before she was subsequently dragged into something of science fiction comics, and here she is again: laptop and documents on her office desk, a glass of whiskey on the side, ion ray tucked secretly on her side table. Her floor had been fixed that no one would have known a Kryptonian from an alternate universe had come crashing just a week ago.

The billowing of a cape and a soft thud of boots pulls Lena’s attention from her laptop. She glances to the door to the balcony, wide open—she tells herself it’s for fresh air, not because she is waiting for _someone_.

A blonde in proud colors of red and blue shyly peeks from the doorway. “Hey,” Supergirl greets.

“Hey,” Lena responds, just as softly. She studies the woman for a moment. “You’re not Claire, are you?”

Supergirl’s eyes widen for a second. “No, it’s—” She gapes once. Twice. “I’m your Kara.”

Lena swallows at that. Not Supergirl. Kara. _Her_ Kara. Lena doesn’t try to hide her racing heartbeat—after all, how can she?—and instead looks down where Kara is holding a paper bag. “What’s that, Kara?” 

And the sunlight peers through the curtains, bright blue coming to life like the storm has passed. “Um.” Kara stammers for words for a few moments. “I brought scones…” She trails off into a mumble that Lena barely hears. 

“Sorry?” 

Kara bites her lip. “I brought scones. From Dublin.” 

The raven-haired woman blinks. “From Dublin.” 

Kara waves her free hand; the knot on her eyebrows is adorable, a quirk far too much like Kara Danvers that it looks out of place in Supergirl’s suit. Lena might not admit it this soon, but the fleeting moment is like being back to months ago, when things had been easy.

They aren’t easy now, not yet, and Lena isn’t the most hopeful of people, but maybe. Maybe. 

Kara scratches her eyebrow, where her scar is. “Yeah. I, uh, read in an article that they’re the best scones.” 

Lena turns in her seat to fully face Kara. The blonde freezes like a deer in headlights for a moment before relaxing her tense shoulders, and Lena feels the weeds uproot from her chest to make way for flowers. “Are you trying to bribe your way into my office, Supergirl?” 

“I…” Kara gapes at that, then blinks owlishly. Lena’s heart races; compared to their tentative first steps back when their friendship was new, this is a leap. “Hold on a second.”

Supergirl is gone from her balcony door, and a second later, there is a knock on her office door. Lena stares at the oak doors, disbelieving.

“Lena?” 

There is the sound of a turning lock, but the door stays shut. Lena continues to stare. 

“Um. The door’s locked,” Kara calls out. 

Lena swallows thickly before pushing herself off her chair. The first step towards the door feels like a huge jump, but the next ones become easier. She reaches for the door knob that keeps Kara out, and the two seconds it takes for her to open the door feels like forever. 

“Hi,” Kara Danvers greets, sunshine and oceans in her dreamy eyes, glasses hiding them away. Ponytail and dress shirt, slacks and oxfords, every inch of the Kara Danvers Lena remembers stands in front of her, and it takes every Luthor cell in her body to keep a neutral mask.

Even then, Lena fails, a smile gracing her lips as she pulls the door wide, wide open, her arms, too, tears in her eyes and forgiveness closing the gap between them.

“Come here.” 

Kara chokes out a sob, drops the paper bag of scones, and comes home.

  
  


..  
  


_“Tell me a secret,” she said.  
She was always saying these things.  
“I’ve told you everything already,” you said. Your lips were on her neck.  
“Tell me a secret,” she repeated.  
“Okay,” you sighed, “I love you.”  
“Tell me a secret.”  
“I’ve always loved you.”  
_

_— S. Zhao_


End file.
